Denial- the Truth- and Penn State Football Coaches

"If I knew then what I know now." ~Joe Paterno.

My interpretation of Mr. Paterno's words are this: If I knew that this would all come back to haunt me one day I might have done things differently. I thought that if I just ignored Jerry Sandusky's behavior it would just go away...

The news this week hit a little too close to home for me- The Penn State Football Coaches 'covering up' or 'looking the other way' when a child was being abused (by one of their own).
The consequences at the time in 2002 was to take away Jerry Sandusky's keys- it seems they did take away his keys but they left all the doors and windows unlocked.

I am all too familiar with minimizing the inappropriate behavior of an adult's victimization of children. My husband was arrested for luring a 14 year old boy across state lines to engage in sexual acts. My husband's family all knew about his past - how he had molested his younger sister for 6 years.  Rick's family all chose to look the other way- and to minimize Rick's behavior and make him a victim of his circumstances. They blame me because I am not willing to pretend that Rick's arrest and crime did not happen.

I do not portend to know the whole story of who saw what or who knows what in regard to the alleged molestations by Jerry Sandusky, the assistant coach for the Penn State football team. What I do know though is if there was a question of inappropriate behavior with children- a witness seeing what McQuery saw in the showers that was enough to consider something might be wrong and prompt an investigation. This was in 2002- almost 10 years ago. Most pedophiles have 100's of encounters with victims before they are caught.

It's all about access for sexual predators. Sandusky lives across the street from an elementary school. Rick lives near an elementary school in Las Vegas. Also similar to Sandusky, Rick volunteered as a coach with the high school football team when he was in his late 20's.  Rick created and ran a summer football camp in Los Angeles for young boys called STARS. I also later learned while in college Rick had a part time job supervising the gym at the high school. This choice to be in the vicinity of young boys gave him access to find his victims and groom them to be his sexual victims.

Investigating the Penn State Locker Room occurrence in 2002 would have made sense-- If Mr. Sandusky was innocent then that would have come out in an investigation. It's kind of like when they ask for your ID when you are using your credit card- I don't mind someone asking for my ID- it is to protect me. If there was no wrong doing, wouldn't it have been worth the investigation when considering the protection of children to be paramount?

I can't help but wonder what Joe Paterno was thinking when he first heard about Jerry Sandusky victimizing a 10 year old boy in the Penn State Locker Room Showers? Again I do not even begin to know the whole story between Paterno and Sandusky and who knew what.  What we do know is it is impossible to curb this type of deviant sexual behavior. Therapists have told me that a pedophile like Rick could go to therapy every day for 24 hours a day and it wouldn't change his desire to have sex with young boys.

When I first filed for divorce my attorney, Will Meredith, predicted a lot of things that came true- one being that Rick's family would not support me emotionally or financially, would not testify on my behalf regardless of what might be best for the children. Will Meredith accurately predicted that Rick's family members would all choose to go where the money is,  his sister he molested- his parents who were complicit, his step brothers and sisters who were told not to speak to me.  In this world looking the other way is reprehensible.

Right now, in real time - 2011 many years after Rick's arrest and prison time, he has a 'girl-friend' I don't know if she has children. A few years ago Rick inherited millions of dollars, he lives in a luxurious home in Las Vegas. If you search for Rick (by his true name) he does not appear on any of the sex offender search websites. He is required by law to register as a sex offender and I understand that he has registered however he does not show up on any public searches, the rules don't apply to him.

Perhaps Penn State's Joe Paterno had become immune to the rules applying to him- it would be a slow process found through years of success and being placed on a pedestal.  I read something in the past week about people 'loving people' too much to report these instances. I believe it is fear of how everything would change if a wrong is reported and an investigation ensued.

Not reporting to the authorities what Mr. Sandusky was doing in the showers to the 10 year old boy seems to me to be enabling the deviant behavior. Looking the other way because of caring about a football program, or money or how things might look to other people is at a minimum selfish and greedy- mostly it is reprehensible.
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This isn't about football- I love football- this is about looking the other way because of greed and fear of things changing. I cannot fathom why someone would not go up the chain of command and scream from the rafters until someone takes notice and does not allow something so heinous to continue.

"I am absolutely devastated by the developments in this case. I grieve for the children and their families, and I pray for their comfort and relief.
I have come to work every day for the last 61 years with one clear goal in mind: To serve the best interests of this university and the young men who have been entrusted to my care. I have the same goal today.
That's why I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of this season. At this moment the Board of Trustees should not spend a single minute discussing my status. They have far more important matters to address. I want to make this as easy for them as I possibly can.
This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more." 

We all wish you would have done more.

Prayers to the families of the victims who wish you had done more.